the shelah marie

encouraging healthy women from the inside out.

Changing Seasons

After spending three weeks in sunny South Florida sunbathing, cooking, eating and watching  The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Phaedra ain't shit) with my friends, I exited JFK Airport with a nagging sense of dread. I dragged my luggage through the cold, wet subway and over dirty snow-covered streets of Brooklyn back to my pretty, lonely apartment.

Why so sad?

Maybe it was the reminder that at this point I don’t really belong anywhere. I’m too old to be at home, and not really welcome there anyway, and New York isn’t really where I reside either (or not yet at least). Maybe it’s the dull anxiety I feel because I know things at my job are not ideal, having left for vacation directly after a tense, unproductive meeting with my boss.

Maybe. Because my first day back at work I was greeted with a hush as I entered the room, long glances and phony smiles. A new after school schedule had been printed up, but there was no space for “Drama.” Seeing as how I am the only “Drama Specialist” at the site I knew something was up. My boss flashed me a large Cheshire Cat grin and emptily asked me about my break. He didn’t look me in the eye. He rambled on about how he wants to please his employees and do what’s right for the kids, blah, blah, blah…long story short: I was being kicked out. Or, “transferred to a site where I can actually do what I’ve been hired to do.” The speech was presented at first as if I had a choice, but when I asked about staying, I was told that everything had “already been set up.” Yeah, sure.

I will refrain from saying anything else at this point because I still currently work for Harlem Children's Zone, and I am going to just hope for something better at this new site.

After (the view outside my window) ---->

What I'm gonna do about it...

In all my self-pity a friend of mine re-introduced me to the blog called, “I Will Teach You To Be Rich.” Okay, the name does sound like your run-of-the-mill self-help financial BS, but what I will mention below struck a cord with me – so whatevs.

Ramit Sethi, the author, blogged about our hidden assumptions that keep us from really reaching our fullest potential, and how those assumptions are usually wrong. I won’t re-write the post but I decided to accept the challenge. I am going to publish three goals along with the assumptions that prevent me from reaching these goals. In 48 hours, I will report back on what I did in 24 hours and what happened those following 24 hours. The 48 hours started Friday night at 7pm, so my next post about the case study results will be around Sunday at 7pm.

Usually I would think this shit is cheesy as hell, but at this point I have nothing to lose. I’m already a nerd, I've already risked everything to be here I’m already broke, you get the picture.

Here goes...

GOAL #1: Generate $1,000/month of income from work on the side that costs me 15 hours per week.

ASSUMPTION: I do not have enough knowledge or skills to implement something that can create steady revenue. I wouldn’t know where to start.

GOAL #2: Create a set of skills or techniques that are uniquely mine to form a theory of creative dramatics for children.

ASSUMPTION: I do not have enough experience for parents to trust their children to me as a private coach. I need the backing of a major institution to do this. I am too young and do not have enough experience in “the business” in order to coach children.

GOAL #3: Find at least two paid (or otherwise worthwhile) acting gigs per month.

ASSUMPTION: I don’t have updated headshots, or enough NYC acting credits to be taken seriously. Also, finding/securing gigs in New York is too hard and I won’t book anything.

What will I do in the next 24 hours?

ACTIONS FOR GOAL #1. I will list all the skills that I have. I will list all the things I enjoy doing. From this, I will locate areas where people find value in skills I already have and things I already enjoy doing. After this, I create 5 options for an idea that I could market to create revenue around the qualities I have previously identified. After this, I will send the 5 rough ideas to 5 people whose opinion I respect and value.

ACTIONS FOR GOAL #2. I will look over my previous work experience and old curriculum guides. I will highlight recurring themes or ideas. I will identify a unique name for my set of ideas based of the themes already present. I will then find how these ideas can be built on to be more effective. I will create a concise email marketing myself as a private drama coach to 5 parents/educators I trust and know.

ACTIONS FOR GOAL #3. I will begin applications for two artist workshops that I have been to scared to apply for. I will find one audition to attend this upcoming week.